Girlishly

There always comes a time When you can't take it no more. The musical laughter, The critical gaze, The fun-loving way And all such stuff Seem like hay. It's like an end To an era, An end  To giving in, An end To holding on, An end To clinging tight To what seemed right. It awakens fear And anxiousness of sort, And trembles my heart At the thought Of an ending and a beginning Without any prior knowing. Still, There's always a way, When the night ends It becomes a day. Though painful And empty as hell, Some endings are Better than, Sustaining and enduring The ripples of brokenness, Taking my mind and heart Towards a trench.

Killing confidence Is a matter of seconds, While building it A matter of years, Not an accusation But a belief That childhood Is filled with People and thieves, Stealing the confidence Gifted at birth Like it was nothing But dirt, To get it back Was a huge task When as a child We were simply Taught to ask, It took me years If not decades To snatch it back From the hands of beings Both cruel and smiling Making my existence Feel like drowning, Though a battle Worth fighting And a prize  Worth owning, To get back What was mine, It felt unfair Again and again With time, And then it  Hit me hard That maybe They had borrowed it  As a reward For being born before And not having A worthy core, And an epiphany  At best Could make me At the behest Of understanding Forgive them  And forget.

I want to thank All the people who stayed, Leaving behind the ones  Who betrayed, The ones happy for me, The ones caring and free, The ones soft and kind, The ones that remind Me of several ways In which I matter In their lives and days, People who don't  Put me on pedestal Of right or wrong, Rather who consider Me a human, Made up of Emotions and songs, And different versions Of elementary bonds, The ones with antennae For understanding my silence, Even when I try my best To deceive, Saying that I am fine And then up sleeve, Looking at them  Fills me with hope, Building in me A belief so dope, About hearts and souls, With beautiful moulds, Adding colors to my life And filling me with More and more scope.

A soft breeze And I think of your touch, A mild sun And I remember your kind heart, A wild mane And I am reminded of your light kisses, A beautiful day And I feel your presence A happy moment And I look forward to share, An adventurous day And I get excited to tell, An upset mood And I wait to discuss, A messy day And all I want is To hear your voice Mundane activities Don't feel the same, As if all they needed Was to hear your name, To get started And to get done, Before the brain recognizes The boring nature of the same A look from you And I am energized, A supportive stare And then I stop to care, About all the worries and deeds Waiting for me to weed How come You bring this difference, How well you know About the deference, Have you taken a pledge To always bring a smile And open up the cage, Or is it your own plight Urging you to get into this fight ?