Girlishly

What keeps you alive? Is it the high Hopes, Or the worthy Challenges? Or a desire to prove yourself  To the society's Evangelists? When was the last time You thought of giving up, On your Dreams And struggles? Because of some  Stupid rumbles? When was the last time You faced a Rebuttal, And lost confidence? Not just in yourself  Also, in your ability to fight? When was the last time You were faced with Criticism, And you thought To abandon? Your strengths And your soul Along with your Goal? When was the last time You endured Pain, But couldn't persist And so decided to End the Game? When was the last time You saw that look  Of Disappointment In your parents' eyes? And thought you were Worthless And worthy of dying? When was the last time You decided to stand up Not just for yourself But also your mates, Because you have had enough Of this Society and its Ways??

Love is what I experience, When you keep your ego aside For this Bond and its fight. Love is what I feel, When after every fight You handle me with care. Love is what I see, When I stare Into your eyes. Love is what I conceive, When your precious time, Is what I receive. Love is what holds us together, Even on days When we feel drowned. Love is what I look for, In every interaction That we have. On some days, Your love makes me Feel like a bird, Who loves to fly, Still returns home Every night from the sky. How do I tell you How much you mean? When every time I try to describe, All I do is forget the theme. Your thoughts take me To a far-off land, Covered with beauty, And some sand. I pray to God, For that day soon, When we would see together, The Sun and the Moon.

Oh my love, How do I tell you, How these expectations Kill you? Some days you are excited To receive what they give, And you think they met your needs? Unfortunately, what they met was Their own demands and deeds, And to add, when they deny You the access, Betrayed you feel, Not knowing how to deal, Because what you did receive Wasn't out of love, But their own need and greed, It wasn't love But the extra time, Devoted to you Only when they had some, Oh, how my heart breaks When the interval it takes, To understand What just happened, And to decipher The real intentions Of the heart and the mind, To be diplomatic and seem kind, So much to understand, As if we were a part of a Grand Plan.   

You tell me you are self-made While showing your dad's house, You tell me you are responsible While hating your own spouse, You tell me you are worthy While boasting about your friends, You tell me you are humble While talking nonsense about the trends, So tell me, What do you understand by it all? Like someone who is liked by all? Or someone with a figure so tall? Or someone with effortless flirting skills? Or someone being chased by all? How do you conceive these ideas Of trying to woo, Without having any clue About the person And their journey? About the human And their worry? What makes you think  That you stand apart, In a crowd That's already like a dart? Who do you think you are, Before making comments so sharp? Who do you think you resemble,  Before comparing others and their ensemble? How dare you invalidate how others feel, Without ever walking in their heels? Kindly look into yourself Before filling others with doubt, Kindly ...

Promise us, That you wouldn't let the Devil out Even when in doubt, That you wouldn't question the loyalty Without any surety, That you wouldn't change who you are And become who we dread, That you wouldn't hear the noises, That drown the inner voices, Would you love us till eternity, Or will it only be till we are yours? Would you care for us like a father, Even after you get a daughter? Would you bother our talks, Even after the years that we have walked? Will you be there To see us win? Will you be here When in pain we spin? Will you be there When we get Those unbearable mood swings? Can we be assured Of your unquestionable honesty? Can we feel secure About the home and the society? Can you make sure Of always being the first point of contact? I hope you don't see These as expectations, Cause believe me, With a promise to keep, A woman would even sweep If needed with Death, To protect you and your clan.

How do you justify this wait, When you have no idea About the actual date? It's like the destiny wants to Test your Patience, Along with this drama, Which we call suspense. Fate seems conservative When it comes to disclosing, Maybe it likes to create That feeling of losing, Before letting any of us get What we want, And let us feel satiated And calm. An internal calling, A lasting wish, A definite desire, A dream that we admire, A longing to find, A fear to unwind, A battle of the inner genius, Seems a little tedious.

Ever felt your soul so connected, That you knew what they did, And thought, Behind your back? Ever felt so lively, That you could feel The rush, Through their veins? Ever felt the pain Of them losing interest, Without showing, And you still knowing? Ever felt what's coming  B efore b eing abandoned, And given reasons, And shown your faults? Ever looked at them with desire, And knew about the fire, That would ignite, But also divide, The bond that holds you dear? Ever knew about the end already, But hoped that it wasn't true, Even after every single sign, And they proving it true? Ever felt hopeful, After being ignored, And then reassured, With few sweet words, About the in-depth shallowness Of the bond? Ever left, And then came back, Not because you wanted to, But to keep them secure, And reassured, That they are loved and cared for??

To the ones feeling caged, To the ones with clipped wings, To the ones told that they weren't enough, To the ones told that they weren't tough, To the ones told that they had to bow down, To the ones told that they should pursue the crown, To the ones bribed for staying low, To the ones bribed for playing dead. Did they clip off Those beautiful wings, And then told you to wallow In pain and despair, And wait for that auspicious day When they would find you a knight To rescue you from this plight Out of his pure might, And fulfil your wishes, That were clipped off Along with those beautiful wings? Did they promise you the World, By keeping you prisoned for years, Telling that it was too early for you To go out there and get a clue, Saying the world outside was rough And surviving was very tough, And so you were safe Only in those golden cages, Where you were being fed  And taken care of since ages? Did they question your desires which burnt li...

Are you focused on dreams  Or fantasies? Do you dream about fulfilling Your fantasies, Or do you fantasise about achieving Your dreams? I keep looking Inside and out, Totally devoid Of doubt, With an assurance, That there is a world Beyond my limits, And beyond, Your words. Amazed But I am afraid, Ready But I am not steady, Trying to balance And figure out, The rules and ways, To surf on Stormy days. What matters to me, Might not matter to you, What defines me Are the choices I make, What makes you unique, Are the decisions you take.

I wish Removing you from my heart Was as easy as it sounds, But it's like a rebound. If it were the mind, It could be distracted. If it was the touch, A newer could be found. Unfortunately, It's this depth, Inside a heart, Which Only gets deeper. Erasing of memories? You mean Forget my parents, Forget my childhood home, Forget my first pet, Forget the smell of mom, Forget my first friends, Forget my first drawing, Forget my chaotic sibling fights?? Does any of this sound plausible? If not, Then how do I erase you From my memories? This side of the heart, Which doesn't let anyone depart, Which clings to all it had, Even though there is so much left unsaid, Fills me with awe, And all I can do is withdraw.

Why life after 25 Becomes so difficult? Like why so lost? Why so much despair? What are we searching? Where are we heading? Maybe because till 25, It's all decided, Like After 10th, it's 12th After school, it's graduation After Bachelors, it's Masters After that, it's the job. What next? What after you have had parties? What about the evenings after the job? What about your dreams? What about marriage? What about kids? What about marrying at 25 or 30? What about the social norms? What about carving your own path? What about your ageing parents? Does any of this haunt you? Or make you feel  Too much human? Or do these things Leave you worried, And so you choose distractions, To avoid thinking, And finally choose to follow The routine?

I sit quietly   And talk to this night, Which gives me chills And fills me up with thrill, While the cold breezes Ignite a sensation inside, I keep wondering, Why do I want to belong? What is that for which I long? Is it The simple talks, The reverent smiles, The ticklish touch, The notorious gaze, The teasing chase, The long nights, The coziness, The deep sighs, The random fights? Or is it, A moment gone by A memory to keep An addiction to the past A future to seep? The feeling of being someone's muse, Without any excuse Only love being the refuge? Is it the freedom I crave To be brave And do whatever I want, Or is it the stability of a cage That brings me peace, To know I have a safe place? Haunted by my own might To leave everything and take flight, What holds me back is this love, Not for a cage, but for less space, For fitting in and belonging, And not having to show any longing. What if I could choose both? Stay in a place till it...

These moments of fright When you don't want to ignite, Any arguments Or petitions, Just to make sure Peace is assured, Being unaware that if you burn inside Peace will never truly find a side, As a matter of fact We are all afraid to lose, Not just people But also bonds,  Not just love But also habits, Not just dependence But also attachments, Does anything count over you? Does anyone get to overpower you? Do you stand lesser in your own life? Do you mean nothing in your space? Does someone else have to define you? Does someone else have to validate you? Do you always need support? Do you want to be treated like a sport? These doubts are crippling And bring in fear, While making us believe That without others We wouldn't be alive, The truth says something else, Your life is yours in fact, Live it the way you deem right Don't bother about the other's pride, It's theirs to consider Not your responsibility, And so do not take accountability For people who are themselve...

We all outgrow some things, Sometimes our homes, Sometimes ourselves, Sometimes old mates, Sometimes the wreck, Sometimes brown woods, Sometimes green grass, Sometimes our uniforms, Sometimes our pencils. Where do we move After the growing, I guess that's what We should be knowing, Is it to the bricks and mortar, Or to the love affair Or to the World so blue, That our eyes stay glued? Feeling the new emotions, Diving into those depths, Looking into the future, While going through transitions. Way too much load in growing up And giving ourselves a label, To fit and become likeable, We lose and then find the essence, That we hold In our soul, To live fully and experience That which the world has to offer, Not merely as a gift, Rather an intense call, To give it our all.

 Who's a Stranger? The so-called strangers, Who enter our world, To give us a hand, From their life's strand. They seem like wizards, With those magic frosts, Working on you, When you are busy being lost. I look at them with a curious eye, A frightened stare, But merely fright, Amusement I sense, Though I put up my defense, Unable to figure out, Should I take offence. It takes time to put down that shield, Before they can make me yield, Once the bond is formed, It keeps my heart warm, And also well informed, That humanity is alive! Friends, as you call them! Who's a friend Deeply I ponder, Then with a smile I remember. Like a treasure Beneath this Earth Like a river With its curves Like our hearts Full of love Like our souls Full of search. What do I call? A soul mate? A partner? Or simply a friend? Maybe what's more important is, That we be together till the end :) Do we really...

Are we destined, Like does it matter, Like if you think carefully, Does anything really matter? So many questions, So many doubts, Sometimes we call them insecurities, Sometimes they look like anxieties, Though I have a feeling, That it's nothing more than this fear, Of losing someone who is near. Firstly, breaking the shackles, The barriers of our own mind, Then comes a time to be kind, And take care of the hurricanes, That in our homes occur, If a word against their will, we were to utter. Making decisions, And staying confused, We believe in our strengths, And also the emotions attached, But, as reality confronts, And a recap of promises happens, Thrown are we off the balance, Because our mind and heart differ. How convenient it would have been, Had we fed ourselves, And clothed our needs, Unfortunately, Dependence, we are gifted, By nature at its best, And then we choose Independence, To deliver the r...

The measures that we take, To protect ourselves From the heart-break, The extent to which we go, To save ourselves From the hurt we already know, Amuse me and make me wonder, Is it all really a blunder? Like, A few moments of laughter, A few moments of pain, A few moments of respect, A few moments of trust, A few moments of love, To end curled up, With our own selves And the hurt? Why do we experiment? Why take these chances? Why do we get attached? Why do we get attracted? Beyond the mediocre longings  And the upbringing? Why can't we step back, And simply stay at the shore? Why lose ourselves and explore?

Or you fool? Why do you look down On the partner, To whom you belong? For petty pleasures Of the mind, That could ruin you And leave you un-destined? Does the moment  Take you away? Or is it the other's way, Or is it simply, A character trait, With which you were born, And so you are this way? Do you ever realize, When you make your mate Look like a fool, That what you are exactly doing, Is creating a void? An emptiness so heavy, That would get you Nothing but lonely. Why do you take advantage, Of the for-grantedness, Of their kindness, Thinking they are weak? Why not treasure, Cause what you have is rare, And it's unfair, Not for them but for you too, To give away, What took you energy, Beyond any other day? Do consider them, When they are nearby, When they still care, When you still have a chance, For after a while, All you will be left with, Would be, No luck, even by chance.

Like mine ? Does it tell you things? Which your mind already knew, But still wanted to, Think about and get a clue? Does your soul feel alive? Without taking a dive In the past or future, Rather, in what seems like now? Does your mind play games? With you and your daydreams, About thoughts and feelings, That you would prefer deeply buried? Does your mirror mention? About the look in your eyes, Which your soul acknowledges, But your mind denies? Does your breath, Talk about sensations? That were once your freedom, And are now bindings to the past? Does your face show? The lines of maturity, And the look of understanding, That conveys your core, And the ulterior decor? Does your stomach ache, And then give you pleasure, To remember and forget, That which could stay back never? Do your feet get tired? Treading along this journey, Filled with twists and turns, And diminishing lanterns? Does your life re...

Or everyone's life? You mean the one  That was given by parents Before asking me  If I wanted it? You mean the one Where religion was the basis To decide on my birth ceremonies When I had seen few days on Earth? You mean the one Where the Education System Gets to decide  Who you are b efore you  And who am I before me? You mean the one In which society Has more role to play Than my dreams? You mean the one Which is dominated  By circumstances and situations Happening without my consent? You mean the one  Which is judged  And commented on Without my knowledge? You mean the one Where I have no idea What is happening around me Even after seeing? You mean the one Where death comes without invitation And life leaves Without prior notice? Or do you mean  That I am too fragile To handle the truth, And so you chose to tell me lies?

Thought So? Ever faced the danger, Of Losing Yourself, Of becoming someone, You yourself can't recognize? Ever felt you had to quit, Not out of the fear of losing, But the fear of response, If you did win? Ever felt the need, To explain yourself, And tell your truth, And then thought to yourself, Who cares anyway? Ever left yourself, Halfway for someone, Who wasn't even bothered, If you were coming? Ever looked at the sky, And wondered,  God are you really there? Or is it all a myth? Ever felt so much pain, That you thought you might get an attack, But ended up disappointed,  Because all it did was give you a headache? Ever looked at someone, And thought they don't deserve that, And then thought to yourself, What do I really deserve? Ever felt so lonely, And thought you didn't have anyone, And suddenly got flooded with people, Then looked for solitude again? Ever felt anxious, About...

I Object to Judgement. What is this objection That we show, Towards the people Whom we know? Just because of the difference In skin, caste and gender, We are unable to be tender. How do they defend themselves, When we readily don't accept them? Not because they are not sober But because we lack exposure. It's a shame, To be a part of a society, Which praises if you blend in, And raises an objection If you don't give in. An ugly sight to me, How people judge others, When they themselves haven't Come face-to-face with mirrors. I wish we stopped this war, Against their and our, And raised our awareness To the whole oneness, For that would surely open up If not doors, pathways, For those who have stayed Way too long in darkened ways. The Arrogance! You hide it in the name of arrogance, While what I notice is cowardice, But calling it your nature, Makes it more malicious. Brave isn't a quality...

What is Really Real? Was it you I loved, Or the concept of love? Was it you I adored, Or my image of you? Was it you I found loving, Or is it me who sees love in all? Was it your bad habits, Or my positive approach to them? Was it the dreams you showed, Or my stupidity, that I believed? Was it the doors you closed, Or my eagerness to keep standing? Was it the promises you made, Or my expectations of you? Was it the plans you made, Or my desperation to be around you? Was it all a created facade, Or me, who wanted to see it like that? Was it the sweet talks, Or just me hanging on till the walks? Was it the beautiful images, Or my own projections of reality? Was it you, Or just my image of you?

This freshness after the Stormy Rains! These fresh greens, After a rainy shower, Preen my heart, And make me feel like a flower. The soft hues of leaves, Beautiful tinge they weave, The freshness looking at you back, With a lot of self-respect. How do these birds, Fly through these storms? When the rains are so heavy, That they would easily be beaten down. A lesson learnt here, Of courage and hope, Like birds and flowers, Our souls should also be dope! These departing clouds, Tell me a tale, A proof when they recede, That even though dusty leaves Were often neglected and ignored, Only after these showers They look pure, And can properly be adored. What a Testimony! This life is a testimony, To all the pain and agony, That even after going through it all We remain utterly beautiful. These waves of time That wipe us with sadness, The seasons of love That add unto the happiness, The unasked-for quest...