Girlishly

Do we realize How many layers Of clothing are there, That we wear ? The first one being The skin, Keeping us intact, Whole and thin. The second one being The garments, Protecting us against The wild winds. And the third one being  The accessories, And the luxuries, Electrifying our looks, While we try to be in Everyone's good books. In the fight to survive, In fact to thrive, Do we lose essence Of our purest being, Hiding behind the scenes, Of these extra layers  And those extra skins ? Are we losing track Of our purpose And our quest, Just because we are So obsessed, With the colors and tones, With the beauty and bones ? Or it is all really a conspiracy To keep us stuck, In this modern rut Of belongings and Things, Accentuating our being In ways superficial, Yet they look beneficial ? Are we truly getting lost In becoming who we are not ?

How do you suppose That your opinions matter, When no one really Bothers your chatter ? As if a drop in the ocean Or an ant on the ground, I keep wondering What is this extra sound ? The one that doesn't Let me be myself, The one that brings to me News without askance, The one that persuades To go against my own wishes, And that Which brings about twitches. The freely given words From here and there All hay-wired, Bring no value to me Except for exposing The people and their minds. What if we never heard What was being said about us ? Whether behind or in front, Irrespective of the person ? The provocation that they bring along, Without listening to the bird song, Or falling in love with individuality, Surely gives proof Of how screwed Are our conceptions Of judgments and goofs. 

The ones who accept The dirt and the guilt, The gift and the built, The pain and the rain, The past and the cast, The beauty and the duty. I have been confused For long, Thinking family was blood And that is where  I belonged. It seems, Finally the bubble has burst, And has quenched my thirst. It's difficult to put in words, Still I will try, Not for myself but for the ones That deserve to be told, About how beautifully they unfold The truth about love and life, While I watch awed, Not ready to believe. Blood can only tell  Where you come from, Because you never Get a choice, But what you call family, Is surely the people In whom you rejoice. The ones who don't  Give up on you, Even when you yourself do. These are the gems  To be held close and tight, It's because of them That you lose your fright. They clear the dust From your eyes, To make you see The beauty within, That lies. How incomplete our existence Would b...

Some days you love, Some days you leave, On some you smile, On some you crib, On some you take, On some you give, On some I matter, On some I don't, On some you bother, On some you just won't. These mild storms Of emotions, Feel like tides In the ocean, Sometimes it hits hard Like a rock on the head, Sometimes the fears Drown me And make me feel dead, The spark feels lit And legitimate, Though at times You make me think Is it even a date ? The depth on some days, Makes me believe More than me In you, While on the other days It questions My own thoughts About me and you, I keep thinking And fighting, Don't know with whom And for what ? Are we even Made for each other  Or not ? Looks like, This love is tough And so is the will, The intentions are good, So maybe we should Leave the worries behind And take out some time, For this mysterious ride Before the end of tide.

I feel grateful On some days For all the ways, That people use To hurt and Despair, To tear you apart And rummage. They don't understand, It's the soul That holds strength. It's like a muscle Being torn apart While in a gym, To become stronger And tougher In your own skin. The more you bleed, The more you win, The more you suffer, The more you conquer, The more you fall, The more you rise. These sudden punches Landed by the Fate, On occasions We couldn't anticipate, For a moment Throw off the balance, And make everything else Appear without essence. And so now comes  The moment, To see it as An opportunity, And rise up To learn new moves Of the game To sustain.

Ever regret opening up And letting your Guards down ? For the people  Who showed you, They cared, But you found later, About their judgments ? Ever regret showing honesty To the ones Who deserved nothing, But you showed them, The best of you and them ? Ever regret doing good And later on Get to hear, That you did it To feel better And less lonely ? Ever regret letting someone see Your bare soul Who was just curious And intrigued, But never truly Bothered ? Ever regret telling the truth And getting to hear That you wanted attention, When actually you didn't even Start the conversation ? Ever regret feeling hurt Because of being told That you are selfish, For behaving so ? Ever regret questioning  the wrong ones, Cause you already Knew the answers ? Ever regret staying back And caring much, When you were supposed To leave And get out of touch ?

That is pure  And secure, Unconditional Yet intentional. A love that doesn't judge, A love that doesn't budge, A love that treats you with care, A love that brings forth your dare, A love that shares your silence, A love that doesn't let you dim, A love that questions the wrong, A love that listens to your heart's song, A love that is patient enough, A love that is deep and tough, A love that shares your vibe,  A love that respects your tribe, A love that understands you, A love that is proud of you. Where the depth is so much, That all you need is a touch, To convey and feel, All that you have been. A love that is like ocean's waves, A love that is like dove's wings. A love so intense, It goes beyond The features and traits, Into the character waves, To find the reality That's hiding in the hood, Because of always Being misunderstood.

The sense of belief That they instill, When they show commitment Without a bill, And explain in detail every aspect of the ill, I can't help but feel The emotions that reel, And make me understand The value of actions, Beyond the words. Ah! What a relief, To feel secure And held by pure Affection and Love, To be reminded Of fragile humanness. When the flaws are loved, And the right memories are touched, When the guilt is uplifted, and shown kindness, And when every aspect of being Is treasured and admired. The calmness is revisited, The solitude gets cherished, The soul feels humbled, The body feels relinquished, The hidden art resurfaces, And the thousands of desires Again start burning like a fire!

What keeps you alive ? Is it the high Hopes, Or the worthy Challenges ? Or a desire to prove yourself  To the society's Evangelists ? When was the last time You thought of giving up, On your Dreams And struggles ? Because of some  Stupid rumbles ? When was the last time You faced a Rebuttal, And lost confidence ? Not just in yourself  Also in your ability to fight ? When was the last time You were faced with Criticism, And you thought To abandon ? Your strengths And your soul Along with your Goal ? When was the last time You endured Pain, But couldn't persist And so decided to End the Game ? When was the last time You saw that look  Of Disappointment In your parents' eyes ? And thought you were Worthless And worthy of dying ? When was the last time You decided to stand up Not just for yourself But also your mates, Because you have had enough Of this Society and its Ways ??

Love is what I experience, When you keep your ego aside For this Bond and it's fight. Love is what I feel, When after every fight You handle me with care. Love is what I see, When I stare Into your eyes. Love is what I conceive, When your precious time, Is what I receive. Love is what holds us together, Even on days When we feel drowned. Love is what I look for, In every interaction That we have. On some days, Your love makes me Feel like a bird, Who loves to fly, Still returns home Every night from the sky. How do I tell you How much you mean, When every time I try to describe, All I do is forget the theme. Your thoughts take me To a far off land, Covered with beauty, And some sand. I pray to God, For that day soon, When we would see together, The Sun and the Moon.

Oh my love, How do I tell you, How these expectations Kill you, Some days you are excited To receive what they give, And you think they met your needs, Unfortunately what they met was Their own demands and deeds, And to add, when they Deny You the access, Betrayed you feel, Not knowing how to deal, Because what you did Receive Wasn't out of love But their own need and greed, It wasn't love But the extra time, Devoted to you Only when they had some, Oh how my heart breaks When the interval it takes, To understand What just happened, And to decipher The real intentions Of the heart and the mind, To be diplomatic and seem kind, So much to understand, As if we were a part of a Plan.   

You tell me you are self-made While showing your dad's house, You tell me you are responsible While hating your own spouse, You tell me you are worthy While boasting about your friends, You tell me you are humble While talking nonsense about the trends, So tell me, What do you understand by it all? Like someone who is liked by all ? Or someone with a figure so tall ? Or someone with effortless flirting skills ? Or someone being chased by all ? How do you conceive these ideas Of trying to woo, Without having any clue About the person And their journey ? About the human And their worry ? What makes you think  That you stand apart, In a crowd That's already like a dart ? Who do you think you are, Before making comments so sharp ? Who do you think you resemble,  Before comparing others and their ensemble ? How dare you invalidate how others feel, Without ever walking in their heels ? Kindly look into yourself Before filling others with doubt...

Promise us That you wouldn't let the Devil out Even when in doubt, That you wouldn't question the loyalty Without any surety, That you wouldn't change who you are And become who we dread, That you wouldn't hear the noises, That drown the inner voices. Would you love us till eternity, Or will it only be till we are yours ? Would you care for us like a father, Even after you get a daughter ? Would you bother our talks, Even after years that we have walked ? Will you be there To see us win ? Will you be here When in pain we spin ? Will you be there When we get Those unbearable mood swings ? Can we be assured Of your unquestionable honesty ? Can we feel secure About the home and the society ? Can you make sure Of always being the first point of contact ? I hope you don't see These as expectations, Cause believe me, With a promise to keep A woman would even sweep, If needed with Death, To protect you and your clan.

How do you justify this wait, When you have no idea About the actual date. It's like the destiny wants to Test your Patience, Along with this drama, Which we call suspense. Fate seems conservative When it comes to disclosing, Maybe it likes to create That feeling of losing, Before letting any of us get What we want, And let us feel satiated And calm. An internal calling, A lasting wish, A definite desire, A dream that we admire, A longing to find, A fear to unwind, A battle of the inner genius, Seems a little tedious.

Ever felt your soul so connected, That you knew what they did, And thought, Behind your back ? Ever felt so lively, That you could feel The rush, Through their veins ? Ever felt the pain Of them losing interest, Without showing, And you still knowing ? Ever felt what's coming  B efore b eing abandoned, And given reasons, And shown your faults ? Ever looked at them with desire, And knew about the fire, That would ignite, But also divide, The bond that holds you dear ? Ever knew about the end already, But hoped that it wasn't true, Even after every single sign, And them proving it true ? Ever felt hopeful, After being ignored, And then reassured, With few sweet words, About the in-depth shallowness Of the bond ? Ever left, And then came back, Not because you wanted to, But to keep them secure, And reassured, That they are loved and cared for ??

To the ones feeling caged To the ones with clipped wings To the ones told that they weren't enough To the ones told that they weren't tough To the ones told that they had to bow down To the ones told that they should pursue the crown To the ones bribed for staying low To the ones bribed for playing dead. Did they clip off Those beautiful wings, And then told you to wallow In pain and despair, And wait for that auspicious day When they would find you a knight To rescue you from this plight Out of his pure might, And fulfill your wishes, That were clipped off Along with those beautiful wings ? Did they promise you the World, By keeping you prisoned for years, Telling that it was too early for you To go out there and get a clue, Saying the world outside was rough And surviving was very tough, And so you were safe Only in those golden cages, Where you were being fed  And taken care of since ages ? Did they question your desires which burnt like f...

Are you focused on dreams  Or fantasies ? Do you dream about fulfilling Your fantasies, Or do you fantasize about Achieving Your dreams ? I keep looking Inside and out, Totally devoid Of doubt, With an assurity, That there is a world Beyond my limits, And beyond, Your words. Amazed, But I am afraid, Ready But I am not steady, Trying to balance And figure out, The rules and ways, To surf on Stormy days. What matters to me, Might not matter to you, What defines me Is the choices I make, What makes you unique, Is the decisions you take.

I wish Removing you from my heart Was as easy as it sounds, But it's like a rebound. If it was the mind, It could be distracted. If it was the touch, A newer could be found. Unfortunately, It's this depth, Inside a heart, Which,  Only gets deeper. Erasing of memories ? You mean Forget my parents, Forget my childhood home, Forget my first pet, Forget the smell of mom, Forget my first friends, Forget my first drawing, Forget my chaotic sibling fights ? Does any of this sound plausible ? If not, Then how do I erase you From my memories ? This side of heart, Which doesn't let anyone depart, Which clings to all it had, Even though there is so much left unsaid, Fills me with awe, And all I can do is withdraw.

Why life after 25 Becomes difficult ? Like why so lost ? Why so much despair ? What are we searching ? Where are we heading ? Maybe because till 25, It's all decided, Like After 10th, it's 12th After school, it's graduation After Bachelors, it's Masters After that, it's the job. What next ? What after you have had parties ? What about the evenings after the job ? What about your dreams ? What about marriage ? What about kids ? What about marrying at 25 or 30 ? What about the social norms ? What about carving your own path ? What about your ageing parents ? Does any of this haunt you, Or make you feel  Too much human ? Or do these things, Leave you worried, And so you choose distractions, To avoid thinking, And finally choose to follow The routine.

I sit quietly   And talk to this night Which gives me chills, And fills me up with thrill, While the cold breezes, Ignite a sensation inside. I keep wondering Why do I want to belong What is that for which I long, Is it The simple talks, The reverent smiles, The ticklish touch, The notorious gaze, The teasing chase, The long nights, The coziness, The deep sighs, The random fights, Or is it, A moment gone by A memory to keep An addiction to past A future to seep ? The feeling of being someone's muse, Without any excuse Only love being the refuge. Is it the freedom I crave To be brave And do whatever I want, Or is it the stability of a cage That brings me peace, To know I have a safe place. Haunted by my own might To leave everything and take flight, What holds me back is this love Not for cage, but for less space, For fitting in and belonging, Not having to show any longing. What if I could choose both Stay in a place till it's fun an...

These moments of fright When you don't want to ignite, Any arguments Or petitions, Just to make sure Peace is assured, Being unaware that if you burn inside Peace will never truly find a side, As a matter of fact We are all afraid to lose, Not just people But also bonds,  Not just love But also habits, Not just dependence But also attachments, Does anything count over you ? Does anyone get to overpower you ? Do you stand lesser in your own life ? Do you mean nothing in your space ? Does someone else has to define you ? Does someone else has to validate you ? Do you always need support ? Do you want to be treated like a sport ? These doubts are crippling, And bring in fear While making us believe, That without others We wouldn't be alive, The truth says something else Your life is yours in fact, Live it the way you deem right Don't bother about the other's pride, It's theirs to consider Not your responsibility, And so do not take accountability For people who are the...

We all outgrow somethings, Sometimes our homes, Sometimes ourselves, Sometimes old mates, Sometimes the wreck, Sometimes brown woods, Sometimes green grass, Sometimes our uniforms, Sometimes our pencils. Where do we move After the growing, I guess that's what We should be knowing, Is it to the bricks and mortar, Or to the love affair Or to the World so blue, That our eyes stay glued ? Feeling the new emotions, Diving into those depths, Looking into the future, While going through transitions, Way too much load in growing up, And giving ourselves a label To fit and become likable, We lose and then find the essence, That we hold In our soul, To live fully and experience That which world has to offer, Not merely as a gift, Rather an intense call, To give it our all.

 Who's a Stranger ? The so-called strangers, Who enter our world, To give us a hand, From their life's strand. They seem like wizards, With those magic frosts, Working on you, When you are busy being lost. I look at them with a curious eye, A frightened stare, But merely fright, Amusement I sense, Though I put up my defense, Unable to figure out, Should I take offence. It takes time to put down that shield, Before they can make me yield, Once the bond is formed, It keeps my heart warm, And also well informed, That humanity is alive ! Friends, as you call them ! Who's a friend Deeply I ponder, Then with a smile I remember. Like a treasure Beneath this Earth Like a river With its curves Like our hearts Full of love Like our souls Full of search. What do I call ? A soul mate ? A partner ? Or simply a friend ? Maybe what's more important is, That we be together till the end :) Do we...

Are we destined, Like does it matter, Like if you think carefully, Does anything really matter ? So many questions, So many doubts, Sometimes we call them insecurities, Sometimes they look like anxieties, Though I have a feeling, That it's nothing more than this fear, Of losing someone who is near. Firstly, breaking the shackles, The barriers of our own mind, Then comes a time to be kind, And take care of the hurricanes, That in our homes occur, If a word against their will we were to utter. Making decisions, And staying confused, We believe in our strengths, And also the emotions attached, But, as the reality confronts, And a recap of promises happens, Thrown are we off the balance, Because our mind and heart differs. How convenient it would have been, Had we fed ourselves, And clothed our needs, Unfortunately, Dependence we are gifted, By nature at its best, And then we choose Independence, To deliver t...

The measures that we take, To protect ourselves From the heart-break, The extent to which we go, To save ourselves From the hurt we already know, Amuse me and make me wonder, Is it all really a blunder ? Like, Few moments of laughter, Few moments of pain, Few moments of respect, Few moments of trust, Few moments of love, To end curled up, With our own selves, And the hurt. Why do we experiment, Why take these chances, Why do we get attached, Why we get attracted, Beyond the mediocre longings, And the upbringing, Why can't we step back, And simply stay at the shore, Why lose ourselves and explore.

Or you fool ? Why do you look down On the partner, To whom you belong, For petty pleasures Of the mind, That could ruin you And leave you un-destined. Does the moment  Take you away, Or is it the other's way, Or is it simply, A character trait, With which you were born, And so you are this way. Do you ever realize, When you make your mate Look like a fool, That what you are exactly doing, Is creating a void, An emptiness so heavy, That would get you Nothing but lonely. Why do you take advantage, Of the for-grantedness, Of their kindness, Thinking they are weak, Why not treasure, Cause what you have is rare, And it's unfair, Not for them but for you too, To give away, What took you energy, Beyond any other day. Do consider them, When they are nearby, When they still care, When you still have a chance, For after a while, All you will be left with, Would be, No luck even by chance.

Like mine ? Does it tell you things, Which your mind already knew, But still wanted to, Think about and get a clue ? Does your soul feel alive, Without taking a dive, In past or future, Rather in what seems like now ? Does your mind play games, With you and your day dreams, About thoughts and feelings, That you would prefer deeply buried ? Does your mirror mention, About the look in your eyes, Which your soul acknowledges, But your mind denies ? Does your breath, Talk about sensations, That were once your freedom, And are now bindings to the past ? Does your face show, The lines of maturity, And the look of understanding, That conveys your core, And the ulterior decor ? Does your stomach ache, And then give you pleasure, To remember and forget, That which could stay back never ? Do your feet get tired, Treading along this journey, Filled with twists and turns, And diminishing lanterns ? Does your li...